On Friday’s Edition of The Equivalent

This week on The Equivalent:

We’ll be making up for missed requests from last week in Friday’s Mattblock with songs by The Scorpions and Judas Priest.

Medication doesn’t work.  With the coming abandonment of traditional treatment, we’ll look into alternatives such as dying or not getting sick in the first place.

Our reporter Peg Hawkins has been driving non-stop for the last two days trying to find places in the world where Google Maps is wrong.  He hopes to make it to the upper peninsula by broadcast.  He won’t.  We’ll be checking in with him so he can explain himself and exactly how he managed to screw that one up.

Women’s suffrage.  What went wrong?  Tom Delonge will explain.

Saturday January 28th marks the traditional pre-election republican charity event where leading candidates get matching haircuts and stare at each other for a while.  In 2008, they were able to raise over 14 dollars for Christianity Awareness in donations and leftover bottle deposits.  This year, organizers are hoping to push it up to an even 15.  Call in to set your own predictions.

Even with the strong showing in the South Carolina primary, Santorum campaign advisers are not content to relax and ride the America chariot to the victory pond.  In an effort to combat criticism such as “he talks like his sack is made of cotton candy” and “seriously, he just looks like a prick,” Santorum’s camp has rallied together various cultural skyscrapers to  constitute his image-saving Man Pack, which is a name that’s meant to be taken with absolutely no irony.  Members of his Man Pack will include martial arts icon Hulk Hogan and former host of the bastard version of The Man Show, Joe Rogan.  Discussion of this topic will be as interesting as it is absent.

In a new segment called “The Five Worst Songs Ever Written,” we’ll happily point out the mistakes of Jimmy Eat World’s “The Middle,” Kanye West’s “Stronger,” and Collective Soul’s “Shine.”  Links to the videos will be provided immediately before the next sentence.

I will also be singing along to all three.   Tune in at 1AM or I’ll find you.

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