So this show is still going, and from this point on so will the blog. I got burned out this past summer. I had nothing interesting to add here, and the show wasn’t worth posting, and basically I was more focused on watching Ocarina of Time videos on speedrunslive. Which is fine.
But that’s all going to change now. I have a new slot:
The Equivalent: Midnight – 1 AM on Friday mornings
Yes. It’s now much shorter. And better, presumably. I should update the banner at the top of the page to reflect that, but like most problems in my life, I’d rather talk them than fix them.
Additionally, I’m adding a new element tonight. Video. I’ll be streaming the show here:
I would have had it up earlier, but sometimes I need some time to myself. Thanks again to our guests Adam, Sarah, and Kelly. It was okay.
There will be a show again this week. I can’t say what will be on it, because I don’t know yet. That would take preparation. Preparation takes effort, and I’ve never been a big fan of that. This entry should be proof enough.
One day there was a cook. He was making chicken. The chicken had been on the grill for about 2 minutes when some twat named Adam came in and told him “dude, the chicken needs to be out now.” The cook, who didn’t like confrontation and was tired from flying to LA, decided to listen to Adam and put the chicken up on his blog before it was ready and everybody got salmonella.
I should mention that Jesus often spoke in parables as well.
Adam was back. There was good local music played. Kermit and Tom Waits dispelled sexual tension for just long enough to hold conversation on air. There was really not a dull moment, but in case you don’t have three hours, which you don’t, here are the important bits.
Now, I’ve never really liked music or the people who play it, but after this performance, Mick has begun to change my mind. I don’t like changing my mind, so needless to say I’m in somewhat of a bad mood. It doesn’t help that I forgot to bring shampoo with me. They don’t have Meijer out here. They have Vons. It’s going to take some time to adjust. I should probably go.
First of all, thanks for the concern and kind words everyone, but no: the wedding is still off.
Second of all, Mick Bassett will be on the show tonight for the first live performance in the history of The Equivalent. That sounds good, right? Sure. Here’s this if you want to prepare yourself –> http://mickbassett.bandcamp.com/ It hasn’t yet been determined when he’ll play, how long he will play for, or what good it will do, but we’ll find out together.
Along with Mick will be an appearance by aspiring hanger-on Adam. He’ll finally be fulfilling his promise of bringing Mick into the studio. He might have a review of the show that happened in a town on Saturday with bands he likes but I can’t remember which so it can’t really be that important. Or maybe not.
This will be the last edition of The Equivalent for the month of June, so if you were going to miss this week and try again on the 27th, then you’re out of luck and a moron. Nice work, moron.
and I haven’t written anything yet, so I’m just going to give up trying to be interesting and just start typing and uploading stuff.
Thanks* to Adam for coming on the show last night. His knowledge of Detroit bands and how to replicate the voice of Tom Waits proved valueless. Or invaluable. Whatever one is derogatory.
Thanks as well to Rick Baseball for not coming in and subjecting yourself to any of it. We now know what (who) to avoid once your staph infection or whatever clears up and you’re able to come on the show.
Thanks to my sister for tuning in once again and for requesting a song I had once again forgotten about and didn’t realize I wanted to hear. The Spice Girls really are timeless.
And finally, thanks to myself for everything I did for everyone.
The problem that I’m having now is that my apartment is far too warm at the moment and my food is ripening and rotting far more quickly than I can eat it. I had a red bell pepper (I would have gotten a yellow one instead, but I didn’t want to start laughing in the middle of the store (I haven’t watched iron chef in a long time.).) for about 3 days and then all of the sudden it was oozing. That’s not normal and it costs money.
On the other hand, so does electricity to run the air conditioner. I’m trying to not spend money this summer so I can have more money later. I need to find the proper balance of non-wasted food and having enough money to really regret having gone to Las Vegas in a couple weeks. I haven’t had enough things to really regret in the last month or so.
I think my best bet is going to be just putting all my veggies in the fridge, even the ones that aren’t supposed to go there, because the ones that aren’t supposed to go there are the ones getting all gross.
The show ended up coming together, I think. No thanks to Flank for passing out on a makeshift mattress of two empty pizza boxes under the desk in Prod A right before he was meant to go on air. I had to take his hour because of it, and that’s not something I’m going to let slide. He’ll be cleaning up his mess, on more than one level, today.
But enough about him, what about me? Well I’m doing great, thanks. I’m glad I asked. It’s not every day I get to upload a brand new show for everyone to listen to. It’s every 7th day, but this one is special because not really.
I guess if you’re stopped at the border to Windsor waiting for your friend to get out of interrogation because he decided it’d be funny to yell out “that dog has a bomb” at an undercover policeman immediately after you made it through customs and you need 2 hours of something to listen to to tide you over, this would be just the kind of thing you’re looking for. Outside of that rather specific circumstance, I’m not sure how well it will work. If any of you decide to find out, please let me know.
For those who aren’t going to listen all the way through, this is the most important part in my opinion:
And this is the most important part in the station’s opinion:
Listen to the new Gates album. Buy it first, then listen to it.
I’m still suffering from nervous exhaustion due to last week’s health special. If things continue to go as they go currently, you would probably be best off going back and listening to last week’s show while I’m on air tonight. I have nothing planned, I’m tired of music, and there is a 60% chance that I might just plug in my laptop and put the sound of my beating Super Mario 64 on air. Does that sound fun to you? It shouldn’t. I don’t even want to.
In other news, Ann Arbor is ostensibly healthier now. I’ve received word that the Wendyses in the Union and League are running at such a severe deficit that they will not only be shut down by Friday but that they will be buying out every pressing of the Michigan Daily from now until the end of July in order to print out a series of one-letter-per-page messages saying “We are sorry for failing you” and “We wish we were dead (that’s why we eat burgers).” Reaction so far has been ambivalent.
It feels good knowing you’ve changed the world. But sleep feels better.
The WCBN Health Special went out last night, and it was, without question, an unmitigated success. It’s always heartwarming to see so many people together for a common cause, but when the effort actually makes a difference in the world, the feeling is indescribable. So I won’t try.
Many thanks to everyone at the station who helped out and to our various correspondents who touched your mind from across the globe: Rob Goldey, Cameron Bothner, Eric Lapointe, Paul Bookend, Madaleine Albright, Dr. Clown Bear, Kaiji Itou- the list goes on and on. It wouldn’t have been possible without everyone pitching in.
And if you weren’t fortunate enough to be with us last night during the broadcast, we have it uploaded here for your delayed, but still valid, satisfaction.
If you still don’t have time, we have some of the more important moments uploaded here. It’s hard to pick out highlights because that would be saying that some contributions were more significant than others. While it’s true, it’s not nice to say so I like to avoid that whenever possible. That isn’t now.
First we have the aborted report from Madaleine Albright. It didn’t conclude, but she put in a lot of effort so she gets partial credit:
Next we have the Nutritional Facts from Dr. Clown Bear. Gripping as always, and it’s nice to see him back in the studio without the Hoveround:
And finally, the new anti-smoking ad:
I can never say “thanks” enough, so there’s no point in continuing to do it. It was a wonderful night. I’m hoping we’ll be able to do something like this again soon.
Oh, and for anyone who is curious, Cameron made it 14 miles before collapsing into a large clump of lanky exhaustion. Unfortunately, the fine print of the agreement said that he had to stay upright until he uttered the designated phrase of resignation: “I give up. I care more about myself than sick children.” He refused. He fell. As far as I know, he’s still laying there now. So while his struggle was commendable, it does unfortunately mean that the donation won’t be going through. Bad luck there, but I hope we all learned something.
This could very well be the most important night in the history of WCBN. Not only is the Gates album coming out today, not only is a long-running and highly respected DJ being unceremoniously fired live on air, but tonight we will be going live with the WCBN Health Special.
Our station has been working non-stop on this since last Wednesday, and we are pulling out all the cylinders. We have guest speakers, live reports, sneak peaks, gripping editorial pieces. Anything that makes compelling radio, we have. I don’t want to oversell it, but this absolutely will be the most incredible thing you’ll ever hear in your life.
I can’t remember exactly why we’re doing this. I remember someone was crying on Thursday and I remember we burned a bunch of take-out menus, but the station is pretty fucked up most of the time and those two events might be unrelated. I do wish people would stop carving their names into our couches. I simply don’t see the point.
I don’t want to say much more, everything would just be spoilers from here on out. Just tune in. You might not regret it, and who knows: I could save your life.